I'm a DC-area mother with an over-developed sense of irreverence, ADD, socialist tendencies and a blog. All my opinions are entirely my own and not representative of anything officially sanctioned by any political party, my mother, or arbiters of common sense and good taste.
A few months ago I read “Getting Pretty Back” by Molly Ringwald. Yes, that Molly Ringwald. The one who is pretty in pink. I thought initially that this book was going to be another celebrity memoir that I could lampoon here on the ol’ blog. It was actually more of a self-help book about how to feel good in your skin. It was charming and sweet and a quick, fun read. She talked about everything…
It has now been almost 14 weeks since I got my hair chemically straightened with a Brazilian Blowout. Not coincidentally, it’s been 14 weeks since my hair looked good. For those of you who have not been following along, I have curly hair and a penchant for trying to look better. So back in August I got a Brazilian Blowout in the hopes that it would magically render my frizzy locks into smooth Aniston-like beachy…
Oh make-up. How I love you! Pretty colors, enticing packaging, the promise of looking prettier! What’s not to love? I have so much make-up. Just look! And keep looking. And remember that I tossed out a cabinet full of make-up when I moved in January. Yeah. I love make-up. The problem is, I bought all of that make-up aggggeeeessss ago. And the exerts in InStyle always tell me to throw out my make-up and remind…
So I’ve been trying to get more fabulous. You can read all about it here. And I have succeeded if by “success” you mean “failure”. Let’s re-cap, shall we? Exercise: For about three weeks I was doing a good job of loading episodes of True Blood onto my iPhone and trekking down to the gym in my office a few times a week. I wore some of those butt toning shoes and broke a light…
Those of you who follow this blog know I’ve been taking steps to look a little spiffier. Because without taking steps, I look like a slightly over-weight suburban mom with frizzy hair and mascara smeared beneath her eyes. In other words, HAWT. As in HAWT mess. A big area of concern for me has been my hair. It’s curly and gets frizzy in the summer humidity and causes me far more angst than hair really…
Dear Mouth: This is Butt talking. You better check yo’self befo’ you wreck yo’self! What’s that? What did you say? Oh, I can’t hear you because you’re stuffed too full of M&Ms! You piggy-pig-pig. Look, you are making me look bad and it needs to stop. Right. Now. So, zip it. Love, Butt *** Folks, I’m in trouble. I have about three weight categories. There’s “Well, Alright” and “Mmmm, Gotta Watch That” and “Oh HELL…
I’m not a snappy dresser. I’m a boring dresser. All winter I wear solid color slacks with an array of turtlenecks or v-necks over them. In summer I wear sundresses with cardigans over them. On weekends, I wear capris or jeans with whatever top matches the fruit I’m feeding my messy, affectionate child. If you think that sounds weird, you try getting hugged by a boy who just ate his weight in blackberries and not…
I have to start this one off by saying “Damn you Dumb Mom! Damn you for undermining my credibility when I complain about my body by taking fabulous photos of me that I shared with the whole world the other day!” For everyone who looked at those pics, please believe me when iIsay that my butt doesn’t look as good in real life as if does in the one picture. It really really doesn’t. Not…
