I'm a DC-area mother with an over-developed sense of irreverence, ADD, socialist tendencies and a blog. All my opinions are entirely my own and not representative of anything officially sanctioned by any political party, my mother, or arbiters of common sense and good taste.
1. Have an alarm system. 2. Have emergency plans and go over them with the whole family. 3. Get to know your neighbors. 4. Invest in windows and doors with secure locks. 5. Join the neighborhood association to get and share information. 6. Be active on a local listserv to get and share information. 7. Be attentive to your surroundings at all times. 8. Report suspicious activity to neighbors and the police. 9. Invest in…
I did a post about things I want my daughter to know recently so I felt that I should do one for my son too. This is a little more tailored to him personally because, well, I know him better. I’ve had four and a half years to get to know him whereas I only met my daughter seven weeks ago. 1. Treat every woman the way you want people to treat your little sister.…
Well. Haven’t we had ourselves a little tizzy about what women think this week? The media, armchair pundits in social media space, politicians, candidates, they were all sounding off on Hilary Rosen, Ann Romney, working moms, stay at home moms, rich moms, poor moms, Mommy Wars, War on Women, War on Moms, partisan rancor. We hit all the high notes. We staged an epic media battle over who is the best representative for women with…
There’s a lot of hot air pupping around about contraception falling under mandatory insurance coverage rules. Apparently some people don’t want their money going into a group coverage pool that pays for birth control on moral or religious grounds. I would like to offer this list of things my tax dollars have paid for despite my moral objections so everyone can gain a sense of perspective. The war in Afghanistan that killed a friend of…
Obama loses his cool during the State of the Union and tells Congress to go fuck themselves. The FCC shuts down production on all Real Housewives franchises on the grounds that they’re neither housewives nor real. Texas attempts to secede then is hurt when no one tries to stop it. Matt Lauer leaves the Today Show. Anthony Weiner thinks this might be his big opportunity for a comeback but sends the wrong kind of “head…
In no particular order… Robert Reich Even Ensler My grandmother Matt Damon Henry Rollins David Sedaris Barney Frank Nancy Pelosi Hillary Clinton Madeleine Albright Robin Williams Richard Holbrooke J.D. Salinger Nathan Lane Jon Stewart Stephen Colbert Jen Lancaster Bill Clinton Ann Richards Michelle Obama Al Franken Wanda Sykes Aaron Sorkin Jeff Koons Jim Henson
Public sector union employees – such as teachers – do get pensions. However, they often do not pay into Social Security and will not be able to draw SS benefits at retirement. They usually pay about 12% of their income to their pension fund because there’s no employer/employee split like there is with Social Security. King James, of King James Bible fame, was probably gay. Spermicide doesn’t kill sperm. It dissolves their tails, rendering them…
Go to Disney World! Cut an album of duets with Hank Williams Jr. Market a line of hair care products on QVC. Take a pottery class. Pitch a remake of The Love Boat wherein she reprises Charo’s role. Write a novel about a poufy-haired tanning salon clerk who fucks steroid-riddled “gorillas” and…oh wait… Study English grammar. Pray the gay away. All of it. Do a calendar where she dresses as a different soap opera icon…
Banning previews for other DVDs on kids DVDs. Banning Ke$ha. Total elimination of private financing of political campaigns. Prohibiting stores from putting up holiday decorations more than four weeks before the holiday. Banning the “Christmas Shoes” song. Forcing the Redskins to change their team name to something less racist. Banning Facebook status updates urging other Facebook users to change their status to the whatever guilt-trippy message the user cut and pasted into their status bar.…
Real World: Supreme Court (This is what happens when the Justices stop being polite) Gay Bridezillas The Really Simple Life where the Kardashians go live like the Amish House Hunters Section 8 where a single mom on welfare tries to find safe housing for her kids So You Think You Can Legislate where rank amateur, quasi-populist freshmen Members of Congress snarl the legislative process into unmanageable knots. Oh wait… America’s Got Humble where Simon Cowell…
