Monthly Archives: August 2011

(Lazy) Dog Days

August 30, 2011
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Hi y’all. I know I’ve been conspiculously absent from blogging the past couple of weeks. This is due to a combination of factors. First there’s world events: nothing truly mockable is happening. Sure, Rick Perry is a tremendous douche and Michele Bachmann couldn’t find a coherent thought with two hands and a flashlight but that’s hardly news. It’s not even really funny anymore.  I’ve also been flitting hither and yon a bit to enjoy summer…

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This Week in WTF: Congressman Southerland Hates His Job

August 27, 2011
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This week a Congressman complained to his boss about his job. Rep. Steve Southerland (R-FL) got on stage at a town hall meeting and delivered this little diatribe about his salary a benefits compared to his job duties, hours, and risks: And by the way, did I mention? They’re shooting at us. There is law-enforcement security in this room right now, and why is that? If you think this job pays too much, with those…

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Fundraiser! St. Baldricks Foundation

August 19, 2011
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Fundraiser! St. Baldricks Foundation

This is Emily. Emily is engaged to C. What? Three year olds can be engaged. It happens when their mothers grew up together and then have babies a week apart. We arranged their marriage the day C was born. And don’t tell me one of them could be gay. They’re still getting married. The other thing about Emily is that she’s been fighting brain cancer for the past 15 months. Right now she’s on a…

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Health Care Reform: The Individual Mandate

August 18, 2011
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Yeah. So. Health care reform. Deeeeep breath… I have refrained from talking about health care reform and the Affordable Care Act up until now because I was professionally involved in lobbying for its passage. People I worked with were involved in the discussions of what the bill should and should not include. Seeing this bill written and passed was one of the pinnacles of my time at my old job: this was a once in…

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New Column: I’m Categorically Opposed To A Dirty Dancing Remake

August 16, 2011
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I have another new column up at the Washingotn Times Communities! It’s all about why I don’t want a Dirty Dancing remake. But the artistic reasons to object to this remake pale in comparison to my fear for what may happen to the plot and the politics of the picture. You see, the central story revolves around Baby learning to dance so she can fill in for Penny while Penny gets an illegal abortion. This…

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I Once Went To Italy…

August 15, 2011
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…and my friend Christina asked me to tell her about it. I have a guest post up at My View From The Middle Seat, a great travel and photography blog written by my friend Christina. Her photos sometimes make me drool they’re so gorgeous. I mean, the color in them? Delicious. I actually fantasize about places I want her to go so I can look at he pictures. (How do you feel about Marrakesh, Christina?)…

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New Column: I’m Not Embarrassed of My Stretch Marks

August 13, 2011
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My newest column is up at the Washington Time Communities page! I’m writing about my stretch marks! I’m not a collector’s edition Barbie doll that has never been taken out of the box. I’m the Velveteen Rabbit, so worn and loved that I’ve become real. I wouldn’t give up my worn patches and split seams for anything in the world; they tell the story of who I am and what I’ve done and who I’ve…

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25 Reality Shows I Would Totally Watch

August 11, 2011
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Real World: Supreme Court (This is what happens when the Justices stop being polite) Gay Bridezillas The Really Simple Life where the Kardashians go live like the Amish House Hunters Section 8 where a single mom on welfare tries to find safe housing for her kids So You Think You Can Legislate where rank amateur, quasi-populist freshmen Members of Congress snarl the legislative process into unmanageable knots. Oh wait… America’s Got Humble where Simon Cowell…

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Eye on the Ball

As usual. the mainstream media is being annoying. The is probably partly my fault since the only news article that I’ve read in its entirety this morning is a story about an upcoming remake of Dirty Dancing. I won’t lie: I gasped and clutched my pearls in shock at that news. Dirty Dancing is timeless! No remakes is necessary! No one but Patrick Swayze can EVER be Johnny Castle and no one but Jennifer Grey…

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25 Things I’ve Done Today Instead of Writing

The problem is not subject matter I have great ideas for posts here and for my column at the Washington Times Communities. The problem is the fact that they are buried in my head and need to be extracted one word at a time. That? Sounds like work. So here’s what I’ve been doing instead of writing: Laundry Made a pasta salad to bring to a party tomorrow Grocery shopping Narrowly avoided being hit by…

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