This morning has been a Carneval de Stupid. First, it rained enough over night that I decided to engage my electric pump to bail out the bottom of the outdoor steps to the basement so the water doesn’t come in under the door like ti did last week, hence prompting the purchase of the pump.  [...]

From 2000 to 2005, I lived alone. I had a series of apartments in different places and I lived completely by myself. This was a revelation for me after years of living with roommates. The liberation from sharing a shower and dealing with other people’s dirty dishes was intoxicating. I didn’t have to compromise on [...]

Memorandum From: Mother Resources Department, Mom-hood Inc. To: Dina Lohan Date: August 16, 2010 Re: Job Performance Mrs. Lohan: It has come to our attention that your performance as a Mom has not been reaching expected levels of competence. While we appreciate that you are a single mother of four with an ex-husband who has [...]

I should actually call this  Friday Cop-Out because this isn’t even really masquerading as a real post. It’s just a wei5rd list of things that made me laugh this week. Levi Johnston is planning a reality series that tracks him running for either Mayor or City Council of Wasilla in 2012. I suspect he will [...]

An interesting idea to ponder from Mama Kat this week. Not the part about who Lou Holz might be. I know who he is. Because college football is, like, my favorite thing. After chocolate. 1.) Lou Holtz (don’t ask me who that is) once said, “life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety [...]

This week is kicking my ass so instead of new content, I’m bringing back this gem I wrote for DC Metro Moms back in May. Enjoy! *** Dear Mrs. Obama, I know I’m kind of late welcoming you to town but someone told me that Secret Service wasn’t going to just let me stroll up [...]

Those of you who follow this blog know I’ve been taking steps to look a little spiffier. Because without taking steps, I look like a slightly over-weight suburban mom with frizzy hair and mascara smeared beneath her eyes. In other words, HAWT. As in HAWT mess. A big area of concern for me has been [...]

Some of you may have followed the saga of me trying to get my hands on a free copy of Sliding Into Home by Kendra Wilkinson with Jon Warech, a real professional writer who I hope got paid a LOT of money to put up with Kendra’s giggle). You can read all the letters I [...]

WELL! It appears that I am replacing Dr. Phil as the go-to source for celebrity advice. Oh yes. It’s true. Exhibit A: Last week I wrote a scathing letter to Kourtney Kardashian in which I informed her in no uncertain terms that her baby daddy is a douche-nozzle and she needs to run away from [...]

Well. Mama Kat just gave me permission to be super-lazy! 2.) If you were put in “time out”, where would you want to be placed and why? I actually wrote about my ideal image of Mommy Time Out but I don’t think anyone ever read it. So I’m reviving it right here for all of [...]